Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
honey bunches of taint.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize