i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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