Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
