Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
