Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
birth control should be required to get into college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
