You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
