I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
