If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
There's always time for handjobs
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
