Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
