Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
