Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
