My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm really into asian looking animals
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
