Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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