i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
