She just used a chaser for red wine.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
When are your genitals available?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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