I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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