I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
