Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
