yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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