There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
