Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you didnt know i had herpes?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
