Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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