YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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