I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
