it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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