Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
