I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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