mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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