I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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