suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
