Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
