Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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