what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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