the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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