I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
