All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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