no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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