I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
