I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
