So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
