What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
