I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
