I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
