I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
