This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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