Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
