My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
