my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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