ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
