the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He? As in you personified your dick?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
