Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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