Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
