what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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