I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize