He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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